Well. I just bought a terrible car today.

"feather-throttle-not-hair" (feather-throttle-not-hair)
04/24/2016 at 20:42 • Filed to: None

Bask in the glory of the 1976 Pontiac Sunbird. 3.8L carbed V6 and maybe 100 hp if i’m lucky. Yes, its a relatively compact hunk of junk from deep in the malaise era. So why did I buy it? Because its going to look SOOOO good next to our Mustang II, the other car we will race at Lemons this year. I dare you to come up with two worse “performance” cars. Go ahead. Try.

Actually, it weirdly looks like this car was relatively well cared for for much of its life. The radiator is really nice, the engine seems alright, new exhaust, new rear shocks, a few other things. Dont get me wrong, its going to take a lot of work to take this thing from “turd” to “racing turd” but it helps to start with a strong (if awfully designed) base.

Random shit I like about this car

1. RWD

2. 5-speed, dogleg manual

3. uhm, i kind of like the front end i guess?

4. The interior is epic (though it will be ripped out within the week)

5. The wheels are pretty cool i guess

6. Speed holes in the steering wheel

DISCUSSION (50)

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 20:47

Blue interior! :)

RIP blue interior :(

LongbowMkII > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 20:51

It's kind of cool as is.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 20:51

That’s a cool car. 40 years old, and in good shape, too. How much did you pay for it?

feather-throttle-not-hair > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
04/24/2016 at 20:53

Shhhh...dont tell lemons, i paid 1100 for it. But if anyone else asks, 500. Totally paid 500 for it.

Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 20:54

HOLY HELL YES

Been waiting for someone on Oppo to get one of these.

feather-throttle-not-hair > LongbowMkII
04/24/2016 at 20:54

It is....I mean, not enough to save it from an awful awful fate...but yes. I feel it.

feather-throttle-not-hair > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
04/24/2016 at 20:55

My childhood car (1985 Camry) had a blue interior of approximately the same color. I just can’t help but love them (blue interiors i mean, not 1985 Camrys)

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 20:57

Oooooohhhuhhahahaggahughhhhhhh sounds like mah dream car

Invinciblejets > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 20:58

I like it.

feather-throttle-not-hair > Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage
04/24/2016 at 20:58

Really? Specifically this?

You are a hero!

Uh, Mind if I ask why? Please, tell me the good things about my new car. Or just make fun of it. Either is fine!

Birddog > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 20:59

You’re going to rip that thing up?!

What a waste!

I mean.. The Mustang II sure but not this.

feather-throttle-not-hair > Birddog
04/24/2016 at 21:00

I....uh....will it help if i promise to pour one out while i’m gutting it?

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:02

But aren’t you going to sell the backseat and the carpets for $1200?

That car is too nice for Lemons.

Birddog > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:03

I suppose. As long as it’s something appropriate. Like Busch or Keystone Light.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:04

I would daily that car.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:07

I love how Pontiac was like “We have to sell this shitty car but we’re supposed to be the exciting division of GM, how do we make it sporty? Ooh let’s put in a dogleg transmission!” It’s cool but it’s so out of place. Ah well, better than early 90's Pontiac body cladding - at least it has some actual function.

feather-throttle-not-hair > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
04/24/2016 at 21:10

Oh yeah TOTALLY! The world’s Sunbird/Monza owners are just lining up to buy my interior off of ebay! I fully expect to get at least $50 $1200 for the interior.

Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:10

Not specifically this,just any H-Body.

I dunno, I’ve just always LOVED these things. They look good and they are nostalgic as hell. Drop an SBC in there and you’ve got a lightweight screamer :D

feather-throttle-not-hair > Birddog
04/24/2016 at 21:13

I’ll probably go with local swill “Rainier” mostly because they’re already sponsoring the Mustang *cough* II.

Kinja'd!!!

And just to be clear, we are absolutely not sponsored. We just like shitty beer.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:14

That’ll give you a $600 budget for the rest of the car. But I’m serious: seems like a waste.

ranwhenparked > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:15

A ‘79 Sunbird with a 5spd was my mom’s first new car, she still talks about how much she loved it. It replaced a Vega that completely shit out its transmission on the highway - she still talks about what a disaster that car was, oddly ignoring the fact that she basically replaced it with the same thing.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:15

You know now what you must do. You must paint a screaming turkey on the hood.

feather-throttle-not-hair > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
04/24/2016 at 21:16

Yeah, I fully admit that this particular car is *a little bit* too nice. But you know how it is, buying a car isn’t a logical decision, its an emotional one. In this case an emotionally abusive one, but its...you know...about the emotions none the less.

gmctavish needs more space > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:17

Those came with a dogleg 5 speed? That is really bizarre

feather-throttle-not-hair > ranwhenparked
04/24/2016 at 21:18

This comment makes me very happy!

CodyVella > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:28

I always wanted a 70s Sunbird Formula Fastback with a 5spd and a 350 crammed into it. The only thing stopping me from doing it is the little voice in my head saying “You need to buy a house, idiot”.

NJAnon > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:28

One of Pontiac’s weird RWD cars (it just looks too FWD economy car IMO). but as long as GM still has Pontiac parts bins you could somehow get some EFI installed and get some sparco seats to get it to 2016 oppo level.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:36

(I think you paid too much also, but I’m not going to say anything.)

DoYouEvenShift > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:36

Kinja'd!!!

Birddog > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 21:50

“We just like shitty beer”

Well hell son! Had I known that.. Hack away!

There is no better beer than one sold 30 at a time!

My bird IS the word > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 22:08

coupla things:

Steering wheel from the trans am!

pontiac rally 2 rims! (you can probably sell those for $$$)

that thing looks clean, for an uncommon car it makes me sad that you are going to thrash it... but at the same time whogivesafuck. how much you pick it up for?

DasWauto > CodyVella
04/24/2016 at 22:15

I hate that voice. The less sensible voice keeps thinking my down payment fund would be better spent on rwd and horsepower. I want to give in so bad.

lone_liberal > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 22:15

Rainier is a brilliant choice since back when that car was new they had the absolute best commercials on TV. It’s a wonder that the state of Washington went from the swill of Rainier and Oly to a sea of high quality microbrew.

CodyVella > DasWauto
04/24/2016 at 22:25

Right? The worst part is, I also have a 944 that I mothballed in a garage because I spent my house money working on that. So I bought an Xterra, to just drive. Now I’ve started dumping money into that. It’s like a disease. I HAVE to be working on something.

DasWauto > CodyVella
04/24/2016 at 22:59

Hah, I can’t help myself too much either. I got a new ski setup in the fall, I’ll probably throw some parts at my bike, the e30 could always be a money pit and it’s ever so tempting to put more suspension work, wheels/tires and a tune on my Golf. I’ll probably do at least one of those soon to keep myself sane.

feather-throttle-not-hair > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
04/24/2016 at 23:01

Absolutely, I did pay a bit too much, but it was one of those love/hate at first sight kinda deals. I will live without that few hundred dollars.

feather-throttle-not-hair > CodyVella
04/24/2016 at 23:07

Yeah....heh. I’m pretty sure one of my teammates has a spare 5.3 iron block LS engine sitting at his house, but since it needs to last something like 15 hours of being beaten on, its probably not in the cards.

Also, side note I have two best friend’s, one with the first name Cody and the other with the last name Vella. So uh, cool name i guess!

feather-throttle-not-hair > My bird IS the word
04/24/2016 at 23:10

Paid 1100 for it. Probably a bit too much, but at the same time, its glorious , and it was ~$1K, not “throw away” money, but not “put you in the poor house” money either....

And yeah. it is a little tragic, but racing is what it really wants to do deep down in its Pontiac soul.

feather-throttle-not-hair > lone_liberal
04/24/2016 at 23:11

Ugh. Man. So much Oly in college....I dont think I ever need to drink one again.

My bird IS the word > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/24/2016 at 23:12

Set the bird free. If it is fully functioning, 1k for a driving car is pretty fair all things considering.

feather-throttle-not-hair > My bird IS the word
04/24/2016 at 23:32

Ehhhh....It sort of drives, lets not be too generous here. Its up on the trailer for a reason (U-joints.)

Engine sounds fine though.

Hoccy > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/25/2016 at 01:44

That looks almost too good to ruin in LeMons, but I guess that will be fun as well!

Illegitimus Prime > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/25/2016 at 06:44

I kinda love it. I want to see the pro-touring treatment done to it, original powerplant or similar though. I wouldn’t want to see anything larger than a 6 in it.

Old-Busted-Hotness > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/25/2016 at 07:11

I hope there’s a shaker and a flaming chicken in this thing’s future.

Takuro Spirit > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/25/2016 at 10:20

Can I has steering wheel? Have money. Will buy.

feather-throttle-not-hair > Takuro Spirit
04/25/2016 at 12:50

Sorry, the wheel is crucial to my “I’m as real racing driver!!!” fantasies. It is also universally loved by the other three members of my team. I mean really, when you get down to it, it miiiiight be the cars best feature.

feather-throttle-not-hair > Old-Busted-Hotness
04/25/2016 at 12:53

I’m trying to figure out how to depict a flaming cornish game hen.

Kinja'd!!!

feather-throttle-not-hair > Illegitimus Prime
04/25/2016 at 12:55

Well...I wouldn’t expect to see any pro anything on this thing... But, uh...it’ll probably have the original 6 in it if that makes you feel better.

But yeah, were I a millionaire, pro-touring on a 1976 sunbird would be most excellent.

Takuro Spirit > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/25/2016 at 13:19

It is, sadly. Well the next time you wrap your hands around it, and caress its horn button, think of me. ;)

CodyVella > feather-throttle-not-hair
04/25/2016 at 13:27

Hah that’s awesome! I never thought my last name was common, but the older I get, the more people I’m meeting who share the same last name.